Purely from a life.
Purely from a life.
"To the majority of the histories resulted more low, I witnessed or
Their participant; but also in other cases authorship of the life not
Is subject to doubt: the dialogues born by it, you will not sit out for
Desk; these metaphors will not be born in a test tube, this
Dramatic art you will not design "from a head"... Terribly and ridiculously ".
With such foreword Victor SHENDEROVICH has brought the in edition
Notebooks. In them it is perfect other intonation, rather than in
To transfer "Total". At these notes and other author - Shenderovich,
Writing, instead of speaking, sympathising those whom he likes, and
Ironic to those who to it is not so pleasant. More shortly - the writer.
* Autumn of 1989. State farm near Leningrad; oral release
Magazine "Crocodile". Before performance - acquaintance to a life
Cows. Huge, on one and a half tyshchi goals, the cow ghetto, terrible
Stench, melancholy low...
Excursion conducts partorg state farm - strews words, in figures
Yields of milk... And the maintenance of cows at us, speaks, besprivjaznoe.
Here, looking from above on fitted by a skin skeletiny, I am careless
I ask: and how their food is regulated? (On my then
At least, cows it was necessary to socialist representations
To feed more or less equally.).
And partorg to me it is timid so responds:
- There there is a cow-leader.
- That is? - I have not understood.
- Well... - Partorg has hesitated, not knowing how still to explain. -
It pushes away all from a feeding trough and guzzles.
Since then I precisely know, that such the leader.
* In the summer of 91st year I with a family had a rest near Riga, in the silent
Place under name Pabazhi. Having risen once from a dream to hour edak
In the eleventh, I have gone down to the linen keeper, took from it keys from
More spacious number released the day before, and the beginnings
To move things.
New number windows left on the sea. Behind windows were shaken
Under the sun of a pine. I cheerfully dragged bags on a corridor, vpoluha
Listening buhtenie the announcer from a radio receiving station.
"In every possible way to strengthen collective-farm movement..." - the announcer spoke.
Being in the semiwoken up status, razdrazhilsja I on
This passage, it is necessary to tell, it is languid enough: what collective-farm
Movement, I have thought, that they there, have become crazy...
Having dragged things, I have again gone down to the linen keeper - to pay in addition for
Improvement of the living conditions. The linen keeper, the elderly strict
The Latvian, accurately having filled the receipt, has reached date and has sighed:
- On nineteenth of August... What bad day.
- Why the bad? - I have joyfully taken an interest.
The linen keeper has attentively looked, checking, I do not feign ignorance
Whether.
- You do not listen to radio? - She has asked at last.
- No, - I have frankly responded.
- At us revolution, - the linen keeper has told.
- At you? - I have specified. I have already transferred things to new number and
Even has paid it, but to wake up was not in time yet. I have thought: can,
Rubiks has displaced Gorbunova...
- At you? - I have asked.
The linen keeper coldly has looked at me and has responded:
- At you.
So there was a branch of Baltic from Soviet Union.
* On August, 20th, 1991, when the bowl fluctuated and it was not clear,
Whose takes, - in Chita, under accompaniment of the radio station conducting
The air from streets of night Moscow, one my friend was linked in
Desperate Russian dispute with the lieutenant colonel of KGB. That, certainly,
Was for GKCHP. upershis each other foreheads, they to a full hoarseness
Have lost on someone's kitchen all the day, constantly interrupting on
The latest news.
In Moscow shot. Outcomes were not, and they again rested
Each other foreheads.
At last, dispute has run low because of full firmness of the parties,
And, leaving, the lieutenant colonel has told... About as he has told!
He has told: "Remember! If will win yours - this conversation not
Was! ".
And, having thought, has added: "If will win ours - you will be responsible for the
Words! ".
In last hours a communistic mode, that not knowing,
The lieutenant colonel of KGB has formulated at last the basic moral
Principle of this power.
* ... The Program "Time", the end of 1994. On the screen - dropping out
From a plane interior a bomb. The bomb is broken off on some
Pieces, those is more and more... All it directs downwards; below rises
On racks the earth... Fire columns, a real hell...
Vs it makes comments on a pleasant baritone behind a shot, and makes comments
Approximately as follows. "Here what remarkable weapon
Makes NPO "Basalt", - speaks a baritone. - also there are no to it analogues
In the world, and all wish it to buy: both Iraq, and Saudi Arabia, and in
To Latin America huge interest... But - rupture economic
Communications, nonpayments, inflation... As a result: such good weapon
Lays in warehouses, and warehouses blow up... ".
Last phrase of the reporting costs to result it
Literally. "And as a result, - the commentator has told, - it turns out:
To itself, to people! ".
I have moved to the screen in an attack of the terrible professional
Jealousy. What thin, what terrible irony! Who this
Saltykov-ShChedrin, how its surname? In some seconds I have understood,
That I can relax. The commentator did not joke.
* Tunis, hotel "Colombo", spring of 96th. The musician playing
Bar by notes, having learnt, that I from Russia, have joyfully informed, that about
Russia knows. Here that he knows about Russia (literally, with a bending
Fingers):
- Lenin, then... Stalin... then (recollecting) Totsky? Pototsky?
(Knocking a palm edge on a head) killed in Ameriя a... (Confirming
My version), yes, Trotsky! п hen - Khruschev... then - Brezhnev...
then - another (Antropov with CHernenko, slipshis under fantastic
Name Enazer, have crashed in a non-existence), then - Gorbachev, and now -
Eп я я п п? (the musician has knocked itself on heart) - kaput (the musician
Has sympathetically made a helpless gesture), vodka, vodka...
I was dumbfounded. Such short course neither to hear, nor to read to me
It was not necessary yet. Fortunately, the musician was mistaken about kaputa,
But in the rest - what accuracy and what laconicism!
* To a question on national character.
Drama on Ladoga lake, on February, 28th, 1999. Despite
The prevention, almost one thousand fishermen left on ice. An ice floe
Has broken away, six were lost, people removed at night by helicopters...
The story about it of the ORT rescued on the air. It half-nights
Laid on an ice floe, and near to it its ten years' son, an ice floe laid
Thawed, and the person waited - it will be lost together with own child
Or it will have time to rescue... Were in time.
In the end of the program the leader asks:
- Well, still will go on fishing to Ladoga?
And the person responds:
- Necessarily!
Senselessly after that to ask the people: why it, hardly
Having survived for seventy years, again votes for communists and
osobistov?
* Soon after presidential elections of 1996 in the night
Actor's club behind the next little table people hard got drunk from
Joke about new Russian: the bull necks, gold chains... They
Have identified me and have called to account for vs, and ordered to tell, when
The brothel will come to an end and corruption will stop.
Here I was overcome by curiosity.
- Excuse, - I have asked, - and you for whom voted?
Also it was found out, that two from these five "bulls" voted for
Yeltsin, two for Zhirinovsky, and one - for Zyuganov. And,
Having voted thus, they regularly get drunk - in
Expectation when the brothel and corruption will stop.
And still the scientific say, that primitive people did not see communication
Between sexual intercourse and a birth of children. Here in the same way - at first
Pushed in a crack that popadja, and then were surprised, that women
Swell.
* St.-Petersburg, 1997. The late evening. In the street
Saltykova-ShChedrina there is pjanenkaja an aunt aged between
"A berry again" and srednepensionnym.
- The man, - speaks it to me, - well where you hurry up?
- In hotel, - I respond, - and what?
- What for in hotel, - the night grandmother speaks and smiles
To me it is intimate enough. A little dumbfounded (for on the prostitute
It is similar, as I on Marlona Brando), am interested: that it
Can offer me in exchange? And the grandmother with readiness spreads
The simple price-list. A sauna, some its friends on
Choice... Probably, the filial horror was reflected in my person, because
The woman, having been confused, has told (literally):
- The man, you do not think that, we decent housewives...
Simply at us now the period of the payment of invoices!
* Picture from an exhibition, the story of my friend-businessman.
I state a plot in accuracy as has heard, - history in literary
Imaginations does not require. It is a life, and, similar, most
The ordinary.
The friend was engaged in computers. In one perfect day
The employee of its firm has pulled down from cash desk of seventy thousand dollars and
Has disappeared. The businessman has addressed in militia - there at all did not begin to do
Kind that are going to somebody to catch. Have told: search,
To us not to that (that it is possible to consider as display as sincerity,
And special cynicism).
Then the businessman through the acquaintances left on the officer of FSB, and
That, having entered into a situation, has promised to reduce it with gangsters,
Managers in this area of Moscow the organised crime and
(For separate money) the organisation of struggle against criminality
The unorganized.
Efesbeshnik the word has constrained, and the meeting has taken place. Gangsters
Have promised to the businessman to find the fugitive and to "take out" from it ill-fated
70 thousand. The businessman have acquainted with the job quotation (50 % from
The "taken out" sum), and the businessman with the quotation has agreed. And that to it
Remains?
Gangsters promised to call back through any time - and
Have really called back. Also have informed my friend three things:
The first - what find the fugitive they could not, the second - that is more
To be engaged in it not namereny, another matters on a throat; and at last,
The third - that it owes them three pieces of dollars.
- For what? - The businessman has asked.
On that end of a wire some seconds have thought and have responded:
- For acquaintance.
The businessman has thought, what is it such joke, but in a week to it
That has called gangster coherent (in combination
The employee of FSB) also has passed, that "conditions are heated also" children
Wait for grandmas ".
Now the businessman spins with the eel, and offended abrupt boys,
In which he has not wanted to pay for acquaintance, search for it with the
Soldering irons and buddies from FSB.
And the authorities are surprised, that we do not pay taxes.
* Autumn of 1999; I treat on a concert to Petersburg. I treat in
Business class, and in the first class tusuetsja the big company
Statesmen led by vice-speaker Tchilingarov. To summer
To Peter hour with small, but cognac in the first class pour
Free of charge, and to planting statesmen are looked already
Informally enough.
In some hours I meet all this gop-company in
Restaurant "Astoria" where I am am brought for a supper by the generous
Organizers of my concert.
In accuracy on Dovlatov, at restaurants I always read the menu
From right to left - since the price. And in "Astoria", it is necessary to you to tell,
The prices such, what even having supper at the expense of organizers, I time from
Time I shudder from quantity senselessly proedennyh c.u.
And behind the next tables statesmen walk led by
Vice-speaker Tchilingarov. Pineapples in champagne flash, flow
Branded cognacs; jackets from Versache are removed, at shirts from Armani
Sleeves are rolled up. After display of a collection of underwear - and not
In itself, and on girls, - a part of these girls, yet
Quite having put on, moves for little tables to the state
muzham... In the beginning of the second of night when I go to hotel,
The life behind the next little tables only leaves on settlement level.
Later hours seven, having woken up in number, I splash in
The person of water - and on bad habit I switch on the TV that, do not give
The god not to pass any news. And, clicking the panel,
doshchelkivajus to the Petersburg channel, and there...
There - on the air - constituent congress is broadcast
Movements "Fatherland - All Russia". A Taurian palace. On a tribune
There is governor Jakovlev, and in presidium, among other, sits
Vice-speaker Tchilingarov also drinks water. And round it sit same
Statesmen with grey persons - and all drink water.
And governor Jakovlev speaks (literally): has come, speaks,
Time when the responsible should come to the Russian policy
Forces!
And responsible forces, sitting in presidium, cannot even nod
Head on these cя п?я п п?п?п?я п?я п words but only drink water. Persons at
All grey, gloomy. Clearly, that these people all night long on the eve of congress
Did not sleep, because thought of Russia...
Pain for Russia and a heavy hang-over give on the person about one and
The same result - here after all that is interesting!
* Political advertising of OVR. Imperial dvuhtumbovyj a table
Mahogany, curtains with brushes... More shortly, in a shot - the budget
Small city... And Evgenie Maksimovich sits at a table
Primakov. And its first words - such: the people in poverty...
It turned some months. Then I have learnt, that removed
Advertising my old companion under the program of "Doll" the film director
Vasily Pichul.
I and knew earlier, that at Vasi excellent sense of humour.
* During the sermon in the program "people Voice" (16
December, 1999) in words "to cover sramnye places" Nikita
Sergeevich Mikhalkov has covered with a palm heart. Pure Freud.
* In poslevybornuju night for December, 20th, 1999 in the company, where
Already I relaxed, the leader of ORT Pasha Sheremet has come. And ORT, is necessary
To tell, those months has strongly caused a stir as regards propaganda,
Propagation and black public relations - in what the Pasha to the extent of small
Talent participated. And here it sits down by me, puts a hand on
My elbow and friendly speaks: "As it is good, that this has ended
Cynicism! ".
* Fatal day on December, 31st 1999, the reporting on RTR about
Yeltsin's resignation: "fulfilling duties of president Vladimir
The nuclear small suitcase "(in a shot - Yeltsin, Putin has been passed Putin and
The officer with a small suitcase). And - further: "also to the executing
Duties have been passed also other attributes of the power ".
In a shot - Yeltsin, Putin and Alex Vtoroj...
* 1999. A call from "Evening club".
- Soon on first of February - Boris Yeltsin's birthday. What
You wished to wish it through our newspaper? - And in a voice malice
provokatorskoe.
- Health, - I respond.
- And still?
- Simply health.
- And more wish to tell nothing?
- No.
- Well... - disappointedly pulls a voice in a tube. Is an editor
Will not print...
It was necessary, that I shamil.
At them a subtitle: "the newspaper of the Moscow intelligency".
* 1999, concert in Boston. After performance I stand,
I inscribe books to emigrants: "to Boris, friendly","to the Lion
Semenovichu, for memory "," Inna, with liking "... The lady Approaches
The big advantages, with a brooch on an outstanding breast.
- What is your name? - I ask, preparing stilo.
- How? - She speaks. - you do not remember me?
In a voice the undisguised insult shivers. Sensation such, that
Long enough time we from it woke up in one bed.
Public ceases to ask the price of my books and kuchkuetsja
More close to dialogue.
I grow cold and attentively I peer at the person of the lady. Here kill
Me the god if I remember it! Though somewhere, apparently, saw. But not in
Beds. I, of course, a sclerotic, but not to such degree.
- Excuse, - I speak, - but...
Also I make a helpless gesture, representing forgetfulness of the genius.
- How to you to inscribe the book?
Pity attempt to fade from a plot shamefully fails.
- Certainly, - she loudly speaks, - where to you me to remember. You
Now - a star!
I immediately become covered cold, small then shame. Mauro,
... Violets on Wednesdays. About My God! Emigration considers me with
Undisguised contempt. Secured to a wall, from despair I rush
In attack: it is not necessary, I speak, me to torment! If we are familiar,
Remind, where and how this happiness to me privalilo...
The person of the lady develops in a sad grimace - and, having sustained
Pause, she significantly says:
- Surgut...
And I recollect.
Years to Boston I really acted for five in Surgut, in
The culture house - and this lady came to me for side scenes. It conducted
There a children's choral circle also wished to drag me on it
Spirit feast, but I have got rid.
... Recently, already in Moscow, in the House of the actor, I have seen it again.
The lady of minutes fifteen intimately talked to Mark Rozovsky,
Having driven it into a corner. The lady on a breast had a brooch in the form of a grand piano,
Mark was red as a cancer. When it managed to filter between it
Grand piano and wall - and to leave on freedom, I have taken an interest:
- Whence you know this madam?
- For the first time it I see! - has exclaimed Rozovsky. - I swear!
So I to it also have believed...
* April of 2001. An arrival on a concert to Kazan.
I treat in a thin business class, and at an exit on a gangway it appear
The first. The door opens - and I ostolbenevaju: directly on the flight
The field costs a jeep, around people with colours, and at the gangway
Three girls in national Tatar dresses have settled down with
Something of bread-salt type on hands.
The presentiment of a public shame covers with a head.
With an inscription the VIP from an airfield me carried a minibus, with a jeep and
Protection me met, but bread-salt!.
I understand, that scandal round NTV has lifted my name on the strange
Height - and, having typed in a breast there is more than air, I go into a gangway.
Eye edge I see the persons of spectators smeared on windows.
Horror. I go, looking under feet that as it is possible to meet later
Eyes with the meeting; I go, convulsively thinking what to do with
This bread, with this salt, with these girls... That in what
To dip?
So anything and not having thought, on last step of a gangway, in
Full despair, I put on the person a joyful smile - here it I, yours
The liked! - also I walk towards to national love.
Girls in national suits without a uniform word direct
To me for a back. I turn around. The crowd of the meeting fusses around
The pretty woman of the average years who have descended on a gangway after me.
Bread-salt, flowers and jeep - all this public shame
Intends to it.
On my out-of-date concepts so in Russia it is possible to meet
Only two women: Alla Pugachevu and Valentina Matvienko. But here
Obviously any third case, and it washes away my representations about
Lives.
The feet to delirium from an airfield - and two days I live in
Kazan in heavy meditation. And in two days, on a return way, in
The business class armchair near to me has a seat it! And I understand, that
The Lord suited it to give me chance: the Lord wished
To fill for me a picture of the present device Russian
Lives.
- Excuse my curiosity, - I speak, - but... Who you?
The woman it is guilty has smiled and has responded - and a life picture
Has risen into place, shining new paints. What there Pugacheva, what
Matvienko?
... Federal tax inspection.
* Call. A timid man's voice.
- Excuse, you do not know me, your phone was given to me by Alexander
Volodin...
Name Volodina - as the password.
- I listen to you.
- Here such silly situation, - it is guilty the tube speaks, and
It becomes audible, as there, on other end of a wire, the person
Awkwardness of the call worries. - I in Moscow, at me have stolen
Money... Does not suffice on the ticket. I at once as I will arrive home, will return.
Alexander Moiseevicha's recommendation does refusal impossible.
- Certainly!
- Literally hundred roubles...
- Well, about what speech!
We agree about a meeting. At a meeting I by force push in
Unfamiliar hand instead of hundred roubles two hundred, begging to take a compartment, instead of
To suffer on a reserved seat. Elderly raznochinets (type of the rural
Teachers) two hundred at first refuses in some even horror,
But then the horror overcomes also money a beret. Then some times
Repeats words of gratitude and strongly enough worries
Concerning speed of returning of a debt. It is ready to send money
In day of arrival, but my post address is necessary.
- Give to Alexander Moiseevichu, - I speak, being thrilled from
Own mind and nobleness. - and I then at it will take.
- Yes? - The person rejoices. - it is good. I - tomorrow! At parting
It makes in my party some zone bows. I mutual
In the image I bow to our general friend, the great playwright
Volodina. Action occurs at a trolleybus stop, and
Public with interest observes of a session of this intolerable
Philanthrophies.
In couple of weeks Tatyana Aleksandrovna Gerdt calls.
- Vitja! I wish you to warn. You will be called by the person from
Volodina to ask money...
- Already.
- And you have given?
- Certainly.
- Vitja! He/she is the swindler!
... Elderly raznochinets with the person of the rural teacher took money
At Oleg Tabakova, took in "Contemporary", took at theatre
"Satyricon", took from widow Zinovija Gerdta and widow Michael
The Lvov. Having read volodinskie memoirs, it has walked almost on
To all who has been noticed in friendship with magnanimous Alexander
Moiseevichem - and any person has not given up to it, and everyone strove
To give money it is more. The reflected light volodinskogo nobleness shone on
Forehead of the silent swindler, blinding associates.
Here that such - reputation.
And here that such - psychological calculation.
* There were we somehow in the street - I, Vadim Zhuk and July Malakjants
(The known producer in Moscow).
Also the boy with ladoshkoj and a mournful voice has approached to us.
We, of course, understood, that with probability one to ten at
The boy - not circumstances, and a trade, but it worked enough
Convincingly, and we are faster out of respect for work, than with pity,
Have removed from pockets a trifle and have given to its young talent.
Conversation has come off on a subject of a professional beggary, and
Everyone has recollected history in this respect.
Vadik has told about the friend, Petersburg sculptor Vasily
Azemshe to which the unfortunate vagabond has somehow approached and has told:
- The brother! Give on bread.
And Azemsha just went from a bakery. And of a string-bag at it stuck out
Long loaf (or, speaking on-piterski, a roll). And having understood the request
It is literally, the sculptor has broken off a fresh top crust and has stretched it
To the suffering brother.
The suffering brother has spat on porebrik, has untidily sworn - and more
Some time then untidily swore in leaving back
The goodhearted sculptor.
In the answer I have shared memoirs on Grigorii Gorin: we stood
With it in platform of a train Nizhni Novgorod - Moscow, expecting
Departures, when with the similar request (about the financial
Supports on account of philanthrophy) at steps has arisen quite
polovozrelyj the young man. On the young man were krossovki firms "п п?п п?п я ",
Jeans "Levajs" and a jacket - too quite konditsionnogo
Origins.
And Grigory Izrailevich has told:
- The young man! You are insufficiently badly dressed.
Probably, producer Malakjants too would tell any
History on this three-cheap subject, but here the Bug has noticed, that on
Parapet of a pig-iron fencing near which we stand, the handful lays
Ten-cheap coins. We have understood an origin of this trifle
Through pair seconds: coins were left by the boy asking from us
Handouts. Silver took, and copper - has disdained.
That in vain pockets not to delay.
- A fig to myself, - I have told.
- Yes, fairly cleverly, - the Bug has told.
And producer Malakjants has accurately collected coins and, having put itself in
The pocket, has tutorially said:
- The boy never will be rich.
... We with the Bug, probably, too.
VICTOR SHENDEROVICH.
//* an information Source: the General newspaper, 12.07.01
//* Reg. Nom. - 1110700159.52-------------------------------------------
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