Past pictures emerge till now in memory.
Past pictures emerge till now in memory.
We in our life so to all get used, that at times simply not
We notice, how it is relentless nastupatelno time, - moves day for
In the afternoon, year after year. But in memory is not present-is not present and pictures emerge
The past, since that day as myself I remember.
Premilitary Cheboksary. Veins with parents near to
The green market. Prowaters of the father in army on the second were remembered or
The third day of war. The big area near an old building
Military registration and enlistment office where there is now a recreation centre of electrohardware factory.
The father very vigorous, all time somewhere ran off us with
Mother, again came back. To many people, crying of women...
I stand at brick gate on K.Marx's street. To me the fifth year.
By there is a column of young girls-signalmen to the soldier's
Overcoats. Sing: "Have rustled, wires have hooted, we such did not see
Never... ".
1942. Mother, having settled down on Russian oven, nurses
The little sister. I sit on a chest opposite to a window, I stir feet.
Sumerechno. Suddenly the terrible roar, has shuddered all ours rublenyj
The sound house, zadrebezzhali glasses of windows. It is flown from apart,
From front, the German plane has dumped killing cargo on a city.
The bomb has got to a court building that stood directly in front of the bridge,
Near to the Green market. Then long, some years,
There was not cleaned a smart porch of this building with high
Steps in three parties.
Military years. For a hand with the grandmother we go on a market.
There are many invalids on crutches, in the faded
The patched soldier's soldier's blouses. On sidewalks, at inputs in
Shops sit the crippled soldiers. Who without a hand, who without a foot,
Who even without both feet. On a breast it is a lot of awards and medals. Before
Everyone the overturned cap or a peak-cap where they collect poor
Handout. The grandmother gives me a five-copeck coin, I throw it in a cap to the invalid and
Quickly I run off back. In the market, since an input, too abreast on
Both parties sit soldiers-invalids and the handout from passers-by wait.
... In a court yard before a brick 2-storeyed building of school (the were
Earlier teacher's college) it is a lot of soldiers. Sit on a lawn,
Stroll between the rifles combined in pyramids -
The well-known 3-rulers of the sample of 1898 with primknutymi
Trihedral bayonets. At us in the house, on a floor, laid by straw,
Spent the night some soldier. In the morning the grandmother fed them. Has remembered
One of them: young absolutely, belobrysyj. Whether it is live now? All
Have sent directly on front.
Chapaevsky settlement. School. The first class. Last year wars.
The father has returned - it have appointed to work on factory 320. Often I go to
To it on job. To factory gate direct road - avenue with
Portraits of the former Russian commanders: Kutuzov, Suvorov,
Alexander Nevskogo... And the presents. Zhukov's portrait was remembered. And,
Certainly, Stalin's portraits. Stalin was everywhere. Its face accompanied
Everywhere - at school, in club, at the father at job, in streets in a city
And... Almost in all school textbooks. His name said with
Awe.
May Sunday morning 1945 was very well remembered.
All family zapozdnilis, laying in beds, and...
Knock at a door of the flatmate: "Rise, that you sleep -
War has come to an end! ".
All this day with children of our court yard shnyrjali on settlement
Among joyful ljuda. At stadium fireworks burnt, were,
It seems, and salute: the blessing the factory itself made the pyrotechnic
Production.
Reception in pioneers - the solemn promise, an oath to be correct
Lenin-Stalin's to business. Any celebratory feast did not manage
Without toasts in a health resort of companion Stalin.
1953, March. All people, all country in mourning.
To me almost 16 years, sit at home, by radio all the day long sounds only
Mourning music. I think: what with us will be? As we will live without
Stalin? After all to me and in a head never came, that it such
Mortal, as all.
Since then there have passed many years. An estimation of a cult of personality of Stalin.
Khruschev has slightly opened to the people a veil of secret events of the Stalin
Epoch. And all the same it was not believed then in sinfulness of our leader. And
In so-called "years of stagnation" Stalin has been almost rehabilitated. And
I till certain time was ardent "stalinistom".
And suddenly - rough, directly heavy stream of the information.
It is opened not only shchelochka in a past veil, and will pull off down to the ground
All curtain. I read the modern publicism, all these
"Political portraits", memoirs of eyewitnesses of last events,
And the head starts to "swell" simply.
The principles which have been put in pawn firmly in our consciousness by education,
Propagation, education, began to fall.
I do not know, how at other people of my and senior generation, but at
Me such feeling, that have betrayed me. Imagine, that with
The childhood you had a reliable friend to whom you believed, as to yourselves, and
Suddenly learn, that all last years he deceived you,
Pretended to be another. And here you start all to recollect,
To analyze the most smallest events in your mutual relations
And... Already see in all of them awful, that could not notice earlier.
Brezhnev's epoch. Passionate assurances of a management in
Adherences Lenin's to precepts, in infallibility of a course
Political and economic development of the country.
But... The people any more did not believe the mighty of this world. People entered the CPSU
Exclusively from careerist reasons.
The presents sincerely convinced of firmness communistic
Ideologies of people became ever less.
From transfers on TV of that time only also I remember
Brezhnev's congratulations on the next government award and
prikalyvaniem it on a breast. Interestingly, instead of whether Brezhnev has entered in
The book of records Ginnessa, as the most unsurpassed by quantity
Awards the gentleman-order bearer?
Long before an estimation of this epoch of the country as stagnant,
Mentally I compared our life then to a life in a bog.
"Party - mind, honour and conscience of our epoch" - the slogan of that
Time and as it blasphemously sounded for all of us seeing
Personally all on the contrary.
I do not know, how others, and I always hoped, that is infinite so
Cannot proceed, others will come, cleverer, fair and
Vigorous young men in the power and all will change. Will be at last
It is more to think of the people and to do all for the people, and to realise in
Life for the sake of what have really given the lives fair and
Self-denying communists. And such were. And it to deny
It is impossible.
... And fools the domination in the power is our national trouble.
After all it is necessary: the people live in barracks, self-systems-smart alecks,
zasypushkah, in the present slums, and they are a mighty of this world -
Have taken in head to spend public resources and money for, that
To turn the rivers from the north on the south.
Reorganisation. It was very much and is very necessary. But...
The initiator and the head of this business has appeared very weak in all
Relations the person. It simply did not have more often wisdom, that
To state an estimation of a situation and to choose the decision.
Result - all is destroyed that has been won by blood and
It is created by the people.
First time abroad (1975, France). Meetings in the mayoralties, with
Members of a society "France - the USSR", it is simple with Frenchmen. Sincerely
Friendly interest to us, simple people, because of other party
Notorious curtain. There were also communists. On a banquet in Rouen,
Organised by a local society "France - the USSR", one is enough
The elderly Frenchman outwardly very similar on de of Gaulle, has risen over
Table in all considerable growth and it is very accurate, almost without
Accent, has executed in Russian from the beginning up to the end the Hymn
Soviet Union. Believe, the impression was shaking.
Now, after quarter of the century, I for some reason recollect
Germans from GDR, Czechs and Slovaks from Czechoslovakia, with which
Met before reorganisation, and does not leave me feeling any
Fault before them and if want - even treachery. After all how much
Them, simple people, on all Earth which sincerely hoped on
Us, to our USSR, believed, that there are we on this life correct
Road also we will inevitably carry away behind themselves all world.
In memory the years lived in Baltic emerge.
1972, May, Kaunas. I stand at a threshold of one of the central
Hotels on Lajsves-Alle. There is a demonstration of young Lithuanians. This
Demonstration under slogans "Freedom to Fatherland","Down with dictatorship
Moscow "it has been spontaneously organised after funeral 18-year-old
The Lithuanian who has in a pointed manner finished a life self-burning on
To the same street of Freedom (Lajsves-Alle - Freedom avenue in Russian).
It is said that in of Chicago where the numerous lives
Diaspora of Lithuanians in America, to it the monument is established.
... Memory. Memoirs on the past call different, at times
Opposite feelings: both sweet of a youth, and bitterness
Incorrigibility of rash acts, nostalgia and
Irrevocability of much that was expensive.
How we live now? What is up? Should pass much
Time, chtobu to all to state a sober objective estimation.
Sergey Zorin, "the Soviet Chuvashiya".
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//* an information Source: the Soviet Chuvashiya (the d-item), 27.06.00
//* Reg. Nom. - 1100600060.01-------------------------------------------
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