Life on a freebie.
Life on a freebie.
Gleb Shirokorad - the former journalist, professional Moscow
The cheapskate. Anywhere does not work, visits in day of 2-3 presentations.
- As you have reached such life: became the parasite and "sharovikom"?
- I will respond, as in an old Soviet joke about the currency
To the prostitute: "has simply carried, and all here!".
I wish you to ask: whether for a long time you were at good restaurant, a fur-tree
Royal shrimps, lobsters, truffles? Whether for a long time you tusovalis
Among domestic and import beau monde: were clicked on a photo with
Hulio Iglesias, exchanged winks with model of "Playboy" or played
Billiards with Andrey Makarevichem? When you last time were on
To the prime minister at cinema, at theatre?
- Something I will not remember. Generally very long ago.
- That! And I do it regularly as I belong to
To selected caste of cheapskates. Once I was same
The fool-journalist, as well as you. It was dragged on a city on foot and in
Public transport, carrying out of editorial tasks. But then
There were people who have taught some good sense: "the Old man, that you
zamorachivaeshsja, - they have told to me. - you have everything, that is necessary
For a life, - the certificate of the solid newspaper and a head on shoulders.
What for you do superfluous movements, fuss, write something - all
Equally pennies pay, relax, tusujsja, drink-walk ".
- Listen. To whom is the journalist who does not work necessary? You
Anywhere will not start up.
- All is bosh - will start up. Every day in Moscow occurs
hrenova mountain of actions - almost everyone comes to an end with a banquet
Or at worst a buffet table. Organizers only also dream to overtake
It is more than press to report to sponsors.
- And here there are you?
- We arise and is got. For this purpose there is a heap of ways. Here,
For example, one my liked, thanks to it I appeared on most
The closed presentations. You see - drives on heaped up
To foreign car any important visitor. Behind it, naturally,
Jumps out an escort: everyones "six": security guards, secretaries and
Other shushera. You are attached to them by behind "closing".
You put to an ear ladoshku and loudly you speak: "the Fourth -
To the fifth, remove a cordon. The chief already inside! A release to snipers! "After
These words follows, not paying attention to the become stupid organizers
Parties, immediately proshestvovat "in granaries".
It, of course, aerobatics! There are ways easier. For example,
The action beginnings right after it is obligatory somebody from visitors
Will want to "fall down". Catch such mister and ask,
Whether remains at it invitation. Say, on a party you
Schoolmates-bankers, and you, as to spite, the "prohodku" wait
Have forgotten houses. As a rule, it operates.
Sometimes we use an old kind way - pass "on jerk".
So, on recent display of brilliants "De Bierce" in hotel "п п п я я пЁ"
It was necessary to reach only in the lift to the necessary floor and run
To flash by protection.
- Also what, nobody has thrown out you from a party?
- To whom is scandal and the evening spoilt to visitors necessary? Believe,
When you there, among elite, you nobody will dare to touch.
When round a jewelry and the lady in evening dresses, I feel
Itself like a duck to water. It after all not any party of bikers
Concerning opening of a motorcycle season where it is easily possible
To obtain a beer bottle on bashke. On brilliants - public
Thin, intelligent: nobody will arise, even if you
Take home in a package of a huge lobster or a tray from a land
For the sick mother-in-law. Well unless someone will with disgust frown.
Sometimes it is not necessary to apply any efforts at all. So was on
Recent presentation of a boutique "Chanel" where the French was declared
The movie star and beauty Karol the Beech. The brothel was full: while
Press agents at an office input shook, shmonali and filtered
Journalists, absolutely other people, any advertisers, were engaged
The list of visitors also started up all successively. I even was in time few times
To be put to the handle of the well-known actress, and it, I will tell to you,
Fine! Especially under ikorku with champagne.
- Whether instead of it was necessary to you in the haljavnoj to practice
To face something potustoronnim?
- Happened. So, one of ours possessed surprising ability
It is literally to pass through walls. Quite often, when all "spherical"
Brotherhood merzla in the winter in the street, glancing at brightly shined windows
Private residence of any embassy where the party with might and main rattled,
This dude immediately appeared in absolutely inexplicable way
There, where all of us so thirsted to get.
Once we have almost solved its secret: someone from ours has seen,
That it shows any red book to footmen at an input. I
I think, such magic book-vyruchalochki is not present even at most
David Kopperfilda. How much time we got it: "That there at
You? "The type all laughed the matter off, spoke:" the Admission in pool. Then
I will show ". And soon was gone, as has evaporated.
Probably, has met a wall through which could not pass.
Absolutely inexplicable case.
- Well, and whence you learn, where when and what occurs? I,
For example, and the nobility I do not know about all these "diamond" banquets and
Ambassadorial receptions.
- Not you one - millions people go on streets, look
The TV, climb in the Internet and do not notice the most important thing - that,
That they are surrounded by a freebie. It as in a taiga. Wood as wood. And costs
To pass to the knowing person, and all secrets - where at once will open,
When, who and with whom. Only minimum skills are necessary,
Observation, psychological training and eventually
Ordinary impudence.
Well tell, that you are spoken by usual "extension" on Tver about
Delivery of any next theatrical award? To me - about
Much! It is necessary to dart a glance at labels of sponsors, and all
Becomes clear: the sponsor - bank such, a carrying out place -
The theatre, logo of any restaurant or casino is means, that
All feeding will be "tama". That's all secrets! Actually at
Everyone the method. For example, at me the secretary "is lured"
The native edition where I do not appear for a long time. Does to me copies
Faxes-invitations. For it receives once a month a chocolate, spirits
Or a souvenir from any presentation.
- And what, she cannot descend?
- Excuse - a physiognomy did not leave. "PR managers" will split at once, that
It only sends-accepts faxes: invited
The journalist-correspondent, and any grey mouse has come. And me
It is enough to put under a control nose ksivu the information
Agencies or international "the union of writing figures" to leave in
Lists of accreditations phone of the deaf aunt and it is impressive
proshestvovat it is direct to furshetnym to tables.
- But, you see, one-or a two-single food you will not live
- It is necessary after all for journey, for light to pay...
- On "tusah" almost always try something vsuchit - fresh
Magazine, videocassette, T-short, computer disk or perfume.
After a party easily you push all this trifle in any
Stall. At the very least roubles hundred-two hundred always in a pocket.
- Listen, and the present journalists did not try to beat you?
- One time we with them terribly were at enmity, converged a wall on
Wall. Reached to mordoboja, almost knifing.
Appointed each other "arrows" etc. But as a result both parties
Have understood what to be at enmity there is no sense, anything nobody will be proved.
The presents zhurnaljugi have solved, as we are necessary to them extremely. It is thrown out
Freebie, everyones will begin rigidity in their address: black lists,
Universal accreditation, the control over publications. And sometimes after all
And they would like tusanut the girlfriend or simply to devour-drink. While
There are we - whipping boys, on all tricks paparazzi everyone there
Organizers wink. It is allowed to journalist to brawl
On reception and blevat under feet of visitors because there are we! We conduct
Itself it is silent, but we are the most worse.
- Than you so are bad?
- And for what hate masons, a mafia and special services - that
They in itself. We have a charter. On it, for example,
It is impossible to use haljavnye skills and communications in a usual life,
To earn additionally in newspapers and to be shone on TV. Turncoats we
We name "ssuchennymi" and it is got rid from the numbers. This business
Principle.
It is impossible to steal on parties. Once I have personally handed over to cops
One goat who rummaged around handbags of ladies at exhibition opening.
It substituted all of us! In "padlu" also we consider to hold in
To our circle of madwomen. It was somehow rubbed to us through any left
The party-goer one type. Said, that the son of the Kharkov millionaire,
Swung everyones ksivami the Ukrainian magazines and radio stations.
Promised to bring on inauguration of the president to Kiev. In Moscow
oshivalsja in halls of decent hotels. There after all every day
Expose a board: in what hall what presentation. Certainly, it
At once have marked the security guard and few times deduced under white hands,
Thrust a head in a toilet bowl and beat on kidneys. And later it has appeared,
That the guy of times in two months "glues boxes" in the Kharkov
To mental hospital.
Andrey PETROV.
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//* an information Source: the North Truth (the Archangel.), 3.11.00
//* Reg. Nom. - 1101100008.16-------------------------------------------
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